I had an interesting experience that will help answer this question…
For several years I felt disconnected to myself. It’s somewhat tough to explain – I didn’t feel whole. I felt like I was working with little direction and input from my Spirit, as if I was going through the motions but there were few, if any, positive emotions attached to my life. I experienced plenty of negative emotions – sadness, despair, abandonment, sorry, depression, discouragement, and an overall lack of joy. Quite honestly, if I had been a drinker, I would have become an alcoholic. I would have done anything I could have to null the pain. In a sense, I did… I tried to avoid the pain with chocolate and sugar.
For years I searched for answers, trying everything I could think of and, while I felt some relief, the pain and darkness always returned.
It finally came to me after a conversation with a dear friend of mine and some focused time talking to my Spirit that there are two parts of me. As Newton said, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”. Thus it is with our being. There are two parts to each of us.
One half of us, the Ego, is the more human/physical part that lives in a lower vibration. Your ego focuses only on the present moment and is the “dark side” of your total being. It’s the ego that creates fear, uncertainty, and lack of confidence, the feeling that you are all alone. I think of the ego as the lowest and most harmful vibration in which we can live. When our ego takes over, we have emotional and physical problems. It is there to serve as the incredible challenge that we must overcome to live in the higher vibration.
The other half of each of us, the Spirit, is the God-given quality that is the exact opposite of the Ego. Our Spirit guides us in love, peace, joy, contentment, and confidence. It is the highest vibration that exists and is our direct connection to God. It is your Spirit that strengthens and protects your, your Spirit that is the source of enthusiasm, excitement and ultimate power. It is the Spirit inside you that creates and radiates everything good you have to offer.
Here’s the kicker. Both of these parts of us must reside together to make us whole. Our spirit cannot be tested and strengthened without our ego. And our ego cannot bring us joy, comfort and connection to God. One of the greatest challenges in life is to keep our Spirit in command.
I finally came to realize, after years of living in constant dis-ease and unhappiness, that I was living in Ego. I had let my Spirit be pushed out and, without realizing it, had almost severed my connection to God.
Whoa! That was POWERFUL! So, I learned my Spirit was missing in action and my Ego was in control. That’s a scary place to be in, although I’m afraid many people are there right now. Believe me, I understand how that feels. It’s almost beyond words. Unless a person has been there, it is almost impossible to imagine the despair, sadness, emptiness and sorrow that can come from the Ego.
Once I was aware of what was happening, I became very consistent in asking where my Spirit was. At first, I would ask myself 20 times a day, “Where is my Spirit?” If it wasn’t there, I literally called it back. I imagined my Spirit returning to my body and taking over control. It was several months before I felt confident that my Spirit was staying with me. It was even longer than that before I felt that my Spirit was in control.
The amazing part is that when my Spirit is in control, everything changes. EVERYTHING CHANGES. I don’t have to fake a good attitude. I don’t have to act like everything is okay when I’m about to break down inside. I don’t have to pretend that I’m okay when I’m really not. You see, the Ego wants you to be broken. It wants you to be weak, discouraged and feel inadequate. When you are experiencing these emotions, you can be sure your Spirit is not in control.
When your Spirit is in control, it is as if you have a piece of God’s glory inside you. You realize how incredible you are, how amazing and unbelievable you are. You realize that you are a partner with God and He is actively involved in making your life a masterpiece. YOU are a masterpiece. He has made you so!
This week, we will focus on ways to strengthen and empower our Spirits. Until we talk next time, spend some time in quiet and ask your Spirit to stay with you. Call your Spirit back and make it stay. Make your ego be submissive to your Spirit. It may take some practice, but it's worth it! It’s an incredible place to be!
With all my love,
Tara
